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This is a new beginning for me, so I believe this calls for a new livejournal. Please add crazyhippielady  to your friends list. That's me now

I decided to pretty much cut myself off from everyone back home until I get settled in completely. Leaving was harder than I expected; it didn't really hit me until I actually walked out of my house with my suitcases. So I am making things easier and trying not to get caught up in missing people...because when I miss people, settling in doesn't happen (example: first two colleges/semesters). Anyways, I still love you guys dearly, and pretty soon I will be back on aim and all that good stuff. Now go to my new lj!!

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My friends have let me down.

My family has let me down.

I have let them down too.

I have let God down.

He has never let me down.

He still loves me

And I still love my family and my friends

So much.

And they still love me

So much.

The biggest lie anyone could ever be told is that he is not loved.

The funny thing is, if you want to believe it, it’s pretty darn easy to.

Just look at your parents who are always disappointed in you. Your best friend who never calls you. Your ex boyfriend who dumped you because he got bored.

Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it; because love is deep, and sometimes it gets lost beneath anger or pain or selfish ambition. But that doesn’t mean it’s gone. Love gets lost, but it doesn’t die. God is love. God is eternal. Love is eternal. When you tell yourself that you are not loved based on what shows on the surface, you will confirm your suspicions.

I am not saying that love shouldn’t show on the surface. In a perfect world it would. I believe that in heaven, it does. But on earth it gets buried. Sometimes really deep.

This past weekend, spent on Pine Island in the 1000 islands,  there was buried love that resurfaced in places that I did not expect. It resurfaced in friends whom I have lost faith in; in friends I never knew I had. This vacation did not occur as I had imagined it or as I had hoped for. But I am glad to have had it. I was shown a great deal. Largely because I had a bad cold, I spent a lot of time by myself. A lot of time thinking, watching, and listening. I’ve concluded that I love all of my friends unconditionally, but I cannot trust in all of them to be there for me. Some of them are very ignorant. Some of them are naïve. Some are immature, some are conceited, some are selfish. They are imperfect, as am I. Sometimes their imperfections hurt me, and vice versa. I am realizing that when their imperfections do hurt me, I need to detach myself. I am learning to love myself enough to do that. I don’t deserve to be hurt by people that I care about and people that should care about me too. I will detach myself from those who look down on me, who don’t respect my views, and who take advantage of my loyalty.

I hate it when people offer support and encouragement in order to fulfill their need to be needed. In order to feel good about themselves. Out of a sense of “Christian” obligation. Unless you really love me, I don’t want it.

I’m so PMSing right now. But I have to get these things off my chest.

I hate it when people don’t think I’m smart just because I ask questions.

I also hate it when people try to answer every single question that I ask. I think sometimes I ask questions just in hopes that I will hear someone say, “yeah, I’ve always wondered that too”.

 I hate it when people put God into a little box and tell you that you’re a bad Christian because you don’t fit the mold that they’ve fabricated in their heads.

I love it when people are honest about their flaws. And I’m not referring to the times when people put themselves down just to hear someone tell them they wrong, as in: “I’m sooo fat.” “What are you talking about? You’re beautiful!”.

Not that. Actually, let’s add those kinds of comments to my hate list. And yes, I am very often guilty of acting in ways that I truly despise. Anyways, I’m talking about when people open up and really expose themselves and look their imperfections in the face and say “this is me”.  Because really, what are we trying to hide? Usually whatever it is can't be hidden anyways. Just be real. And if people don't respect it when you are, they are not worth your time or effort.

On a final note, I leave you with my new favorite verse:

“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love”

-Galatians 5:6b

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I've decided I am going to try to get into Eastman for music ed/french horn next year after LA. So I was looking at their website, and I found this lovely statistic

"Approximately 2,000 applications are received each year, and about 145 freshmen and 125 graduate students are enrolled."

holy crudmuffins

hello practicing my life away

 but I'm gonna do it man

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[	music	|	California - Sarah Slean	]

This is the tattoo I think I'm going to get between my shoulder blades. It will be just the tree and the roots...not the whole circle. Oh and notice the music sign in the roots, that's the coolest part. What does y'all think? 

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"Don't be misled. Remember that you can't ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow! Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone, especially to our Christian brothers and sisters.

Galatians 6:7-10